


Ten Things about Random People at Atlantis

by sheafrotherdon



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-20
Updated: 2006-07-20
Packaged: 2017-10-11 23:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheafrotherdon/pseuds/sheafrotherdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven members of the Atlantis team offer their take on the 'ten things' meme</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Things about Random People at Atlantis

Ten Things about Random People at Atlantis  
by Dr. Rodney McKay

1\. You are ridiculously stupid.  
2\. In comparison to you, person number one appears to _glow_ with the radiance of surpassing, deep and abiding intelligence. You make stupidity into an _art_ form. There are primitive people building _temples_ to your stupidity as we speak.  
3\. One of the millennium problems really ought to be solving the conundrum of how you are so unbelievably and spectacularly STUPID.  
4\. The growling scares me. A little. Perhaps.  
5\. If I have to listen to you say one more word, ever, in my life, it will be too soon. You shoot past stupid and clean out the other side. You are a black hole into which intelligence descends and never returns. The gravitational pull of your stupidity will no doubt single-handedly destroy this galaxy before you learn to tie your own shoe laces (oh please, you think we don't know the real reason you wear loafers?).  
6\. You dress to the right. What? I'm not _dead_. Just busy.  
7\. Touch that and you die.  
8\. You are an imbecile. You are the town fool, riding on the donkey of stupidity, straight to the capital city of ridiculous. You believe yourself to be outfitted in an impeccable suit of brilliance, yet you are not only completely naked, you are riding past small children who so intimately know the hallmarks of dumb that they point and laugh at you when you pass.  
9\. I find your navel quite distracting.  
10\. I'm the reason you died. I'm . . . sorry.

Ten Things about Random People at Atlantis  
by Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard

1\. Good job.  
2\. Nice going. No really. Say – you completed basic right? Right.  
3\. Stop hogging the C4, dude.  
4\. Do that again, and I will eviscerate you. Calmly.  
5\. Showers. Amazing concept. What say you check 'em out?  
6\. Nice ass, buddy. I'm just sayin'.  
7\. I don't want to bring this up in front of everyone or anything, but you're aware we all know you wear briefs 'cause we can see the outline through your flight suit, right?  
8\. You're kinda annoying.  
9\. And people talk about _my_ hair?  
10\. Later.

Ten Things about Random People at Atlantis  
by Ronon Dex

1\. He annoys me.  
2\. He annoys me.  
3\. She's foolish.  
4\. I don't understand your purpose.  
5\. You talk a lot.  
6\. We should kill them.  
7\. I would steal your lettuce.  
8\. You're strange.  
9\. You're the only reason I didn't kill him.  
10\. *growls*

Ten Random Things About People at Atlantis  
by Dr. Elizabeth Weir.

1\. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
2\. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
3\. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
4\. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
5\. I want to rip off that flight suit, you bald, sexy bastard, lick you head to toe. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
6\. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
7\. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
8\. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
9\. You are a valuable member of this expedition, and your contributions to our success in this galaxy are appreciated more than I have words to say.  
10\. Kavanagh? You're such a piece of shit.

Ten Things about Random People at Atlantis  
by Dr. Carson Beckett

Och, this is hard! I don't like to discriminate. Ten people? That doesnae seem very fair to me, there are so many people in this city doing such lovely work. I'm afraid I cannae participate – I have wee babies to inoculate, don't you know . . .

Ten Things about Random People at Atlantis  
by Teyla Emmagan

1\. Among my people is it said that a warrior is not a warrior unless armed with compassion. You are a fine leader.  
2\. Long ago, my people discovered that in life, as in all things, there will be periods of darkness. When such darkness comes this evening, meet me at the stairwell leading to the east pier and let us claim mindless, filthy pleasure in the name of the ancestors.  
3\. You are blessed with great intelligence and a bravery many underestimate. I will tell no one of your blanket, and you are welcome among my people.  
4\. In dedicating yourself to the study of my people's ancient rites of defense, you have proved yourself loyal, wise, and attractive beyond measure. If you had dreadlocks, I would educate you in the pleasures of the ancestors. For now, I am content to hit you with my people's sticks.  
5\. Your flight suit is not understood among my people.  
6\. The gift of healing is treasured beyond all others among my people. We hope to one-day honor you with the gift of pleasure handed down from the ancestors in return for your many kindnesses among "the wee babies." First, however, my people wish to do something about your hair.  
7\. You are not as attractive as your commander, yet my people have noted your skill with a gun. The pleasures of the ancestors are yours for the asking among many young women I know. For perhaps the price of diverting routine patrols from the east pier this evening, I could guide you to the homes of these women, lodged among my people.  
8\. Among my people, your kind are reviled. Still, I wish to be your friend, and know of many natural herbs and plants that, when processed into cosmetic form, may help with the shine upon your face.  
9\. Should you turn from the path you have chosen, you will always find a home among my people. Jinto, in particular, is anxious to develop a friendship with a man with only one eye.  
10\. Your patience has become a thing of legend, spoken of around the campfires of my people. Your wisdom in brewing coffee consistently throughout the day has saved my people – and yours – on countless occasions. On behalf of my people, I thank you.

Ten Things about Random People at Atlantis  
by Dr. Radek Zelenka

1\. You have the penmanship which makes board look nice when we are working to avoid the death.  
2\. Thank you for making the red jello cups. I enjoy, great deal.  
3\. I have affection for you despite the, how do you say, lashing of your tongue. I think I am saying that in manner that will raise eyebrows. I do not mean the - just in the manner of happy to make coffee to create calm and to be saving of your ass without thanks. Asshole.  
4\. You are extremely attractive and smart and I have much fondness for color red.  
5\. I am thinking we could talk of the hair things – the gel, yes, and the mousse? I have much to learn.  
6\. Your accent is having the effect of the calm. We should talk more – I long to hear adventures of sheep.  
7\. You have not, it seems, heard of um – how say – contractions? Annoys, great deal.  
8\. I am considering leather as alternate to uniform. Perhaps to discuss? I have knife for exchange.  
9\. No, no, no, we do not cross-calibrate the console B with Ancient crystal unless - and now it blows up. Most annoying.  
10\. Flight suit, it is – um . . . too tight? Yes. Looser more flattering to figure. Have learned.


End file.
